I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think pants incapable of making pants work
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
