You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
In America we eat man semen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
