Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize