I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
