he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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