would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When are your genitals available?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
