Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
