This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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