im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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