I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
