I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
