No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
