I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's Friday. Sex?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
