I need help removing her.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
