Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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