do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
