Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
People in love make me want to vomit
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
