i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
