ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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