i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
