Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You left your phone here
Wait...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
