YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
