And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
