I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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