I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
