did you get engaged???
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
