all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
