im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize