Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
