Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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