the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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