I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
