you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
