fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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