She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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