My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
barbara walters just said penis...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
