At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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