it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
