good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
