Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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