My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she told me i tasted like america
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
