She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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