I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
