and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize