you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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