i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
There's even glitter on my cock...
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