just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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