Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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