walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
