I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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