Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
