You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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