Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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