no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
