she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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