I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Farmville is her only friend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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