The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize