I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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