He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
