we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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