you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
