He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize