Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
