How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
