New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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