suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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