Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
