What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
