umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
