I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
